Wild Abandon - More 'Thoughts of the Day'

- Upon hearing that there were endless variants of our own reality I took it upon myself to stray from my place in the dimensional spectrum to see what lay within the realm of possibility. In one reality society was distinctly more feline. Although, saying it like that is perhaps a bit misleading. It would be more accurate to say that evolution of public sanitation was distinctly more feline. Bathrooms were, rather, box rooms or litter rooms. You would politely find a corner of the sandy room and do your business, using either a litter shovel or kicking motions to bury your deed. The box rooms, so named because they were usually a disconnected room within a larger structure, typically included a comfortable carpeted area on top of the box/room. In that society it was normal to wait on top of the box, lounging on the plush carpet. It was accepted, no, expected even that if you had been kept waiting for some time that as the occupant exited the box that you reach down and thump them on the head. In some high-end establishments there were even employees whose job entailed tapping each person on the head as they exited. The gesture was between a nod and a 'high five', and niceties such as warm towels or colognes/perfumes were tossed down afterwards. (Or slowly pushed over the edge as it were.)


- Ever notice how small, trivial details can collude to create a memorable moment out of an otherwise ordinary event? It happens to me most often while I am enjoying a book or a show, the combination of emotions and my circumstances blend together into a moment that, in memory, is more than the sum of the parts. I read the The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and enjoyed it immensely, but my experience while reading it made it all the more memorable. After a long day of work followed by several hours of home renovation and a lazy dinner I would find a comfortable position on our old couch, wrap up in a blanket and crack a window enough to circulate the air but not let in too much of the winter cold. I'd light a cigar and spend several hours reading by the diffuse light of our tower lamp mixed with the glow of flames from the pellet stove. Usually a cat was draped over me purring loudly. Another favorite of mine was sitting cross legged on my computer chair at 1am, my arms tucked into a sweatshirt while our failing boiler strained to keep the house at a modest 60-65 (F) degrees. I was watching Steins;Gate on my computer with the volume turned down (so as not to disturb my wife) and occasionally sipping coffee. It was particularly memorable because several weeks earlier we had swapped our computers out of the office and into the living room.


- Move tile inspiration - Wizard of OZ III: Toto Vengeance


- Sometimes I feel phantom pains and I wonder if in some adjacent reality whether some accident or injury befell my counterpart.


- Sometimes I feel the need to pick up an obscure or relatively pointless skill. Like learning Morse Code for example. Honestly, who even knows Morse code anymore?


- Sometimes I become oddly focused on certain aspects of my body. Sometimes I notice how my pulse actually interferes with my ability to hold my hand steady. When it's really quiet I notice how it  sounds like there is a really high-pitched noise just at the edge of hearing (that's not actually there). Occasionally I'll feel two tiny rings, symmetrical, in roughly opposite spots, whenever I touch the roof of my mouth with my tongue. When I chew I sometimes fixate on the muscle that flexes just above my temple.
     I became annoyed when I discovered one day that I could bend my pinky finger on my left hand to my palm independently of the other fingers. Yet, on my right hand, I was unable to touch my pinky to my palm without uncontrollably bending the finger next to it. Luckily I'm fairly certain I figured out why. I regularly use my left pinky independently to hit CTRL or SHIFT on the keyboard, my right hand does not.
     Before I regularly kept a mustache I used to trace the groove in my upper lip. Everyone has it but I'm not sure why it's there. On the subject of facial hair, I also absent-mindedly twirl my soul patch when I'm studying something. I think it's a requirement or something.


- I had a dream about a WWII museum in which all the exhibits were represented with housecats. There were tanks and planes, all the real stuff, all appropriately scaled down and accurate, except the people were replaced by cats standing on their hind legs. Imagine a Hitler cat at a podium, talking to a field of other cats saluting. Imagine a cat dressed in an army uniform, his paw outstretched pointing forward, while behind him a field of tanks began advancing. Manning the guns on the tanks are cats of all colours, some of them only kittens. In a paratrooper exhibit a line of cats waits for their turn to jump, lit red by the glow of the jump light, while the jump captain cat looks out the open hatch, his head tilted as if looking at something that had just fallen over the edge. Call me crazy...but if someone actually built this I think it would be huge.

Ruminations on Renovations

Four years ago, when my wife and I bought our first house, we bought a fixer-upper because we were hoping try our hand at renovations and, hopefully, make a profit when it came time to sell and move. For some people buying a house is a huge, largely permanent, decision. For us buying a house was just the only reasonable alternative to renting an apartment, even if it was going to be more troublesome when we inevitably moved again. Buying a house, even a small crappy split-ranch that hadn't been updated since the 70's felt more comfortable. It was exciting to know that I could learn how to renovate as I went. However badly I might botch a renovation it was nice to know we wouldn't have a landlord breathing down our necks.

Well, I did actually end up learning my way around some basic renovations. Luckily I never truly botched a job and had to call in a professional. By some miracle I've progressed from feeling an overwhelming sense of dread and uncertainty whenever I pick up a new project, to feeling confident about most improvements. However, being young, uncertain, and fairly broke, the renovations these past four years have progressed slowly. I'd get home from work and want to spend time with my wife, or relax with friends. When I reached decent stopping points it was hard to work up the motivation to start the next exhausting leg of a project. Inevitably that would mean pouring my entire weekend into a frustrating learning experience so that I could return to work unrested and sore. As you might imagine there was quite a bit of procrastination going on. That's not to say that I couldn't work quickly. For instance, when there was a desolate flange where our old toilet once was, and my bowels threatened a reenactment of Mt. St. Helens, I learned how to install a toilet with surprising celerity. Yet situations like that also added to my sense of trepidation. Before I had accumulated the experience I have now I approached each new step with a mixture of fear and enthusiasm. I was always anticipating the possibility that I was going to fuck something up beyond my ability to fix it or, worse, my ability to afford it. Thanks to some mixture of luck and ingenuity though that was never an issue.

These days renovations are a different story. I don't think I've ever felt so satisfied doing renovation work as I have lately, and it just took a change of circumstances. When the decision came to finally sell the house I knew it was time to finally finish working on our bathroom. To put the bathroom work in perspective when we first moved in the tub was tiny, the walls covered in terrible 70's green and gold fleck paneling, the vanity was decrepit, the fixtures cheap, oh and the toilet was at an angle because the floor beneath it had begun rotting. The bathroom was going to be our big project. My wife and I grabbed crowbars and attacked the bathroom like Gordan Freeman at a headcrab convention. By the time we were finished the bathroom was a husk; bare floor and stud walls. In the first year when we had more money to burn we managed a substantial amount of work. I replaced the floor, bought drywall (but then let it sit there for a long time), replaced the toilet, replaced the tub with a larger and roomier one, and even updated a lot of the plumbing and fixtures. Then things got tighter and the purchasing slowed, and so did the work. Over time we bought a vanity and a faucet for it. Eventually I worked up the courage to start trying to attach the drywall which, due to my negligence, was now warped and dusty. More time and much savings later we bought real flooring and I sucked-up and began my first frustrating attempts to apply plaster. There was a lot of down-time between each of those projects though, frequently months.

Then about a month ago it all changed. My wife and our new addition, a baby boy, decided to stay with family a while. She was going to look for work in the area we planned to move to. Meanwhile, I was to concentrate on finishing up projects so the house could sell. I honestly expected the whole process was going to be a drag; all work and no play. I didn't think that being alone and coming home from a job I was ready to leave a year ago was going to leave me with much energy to accomplish anything. Historically my response was procrastination and exhaustion when I took the time to do more renovation work. I surprised myself though. This was the first time ever I've ever actually lived alone; no wife, no room mate, no family staying with us, not even a dog. I didn't have companionship to look forward to when I came home anymore, just alone time watching shows or playing games. I found the difference in working on renovations versus my usual pass-times was really just a matter of engagement.

Working on the house quickly became a daily routine and it was engrossing. The renovations required most of my attention but seeing the changes and the progress was satisfying. I didn't feel the same sense of restraint anymore, nor did I feel like I was wasting my day. I didn't have to worry about whether the bath-tub was currently unusable, or the house cluttered with tools and drywall dust. Who was I going to inconvenience beside myself? For the same reason I felt more confident about each new project I tackled, and I had further reassurance from my accumulated experience. I was no longer a complete beginner on the ground floor, I had reached a point where I was starting to see patterns and understand the processes. I didn't have to crack open a book and reread the same passage 14 times in order to be sure what I was doing was right. When I decided to tile around the tub I did some light research, bought what I needed, read the instructions, and knocked it out in a day. When I had to install drywall around the tub walls and plaster them, well, I had already done it once. And when I realized that there was no insulation in the entryway walls? Some profanity followed by a resolve to tear it down, fill it in, and patch it up.

It's almost an addiction. You go to the Home Depot, or Lowes, or local hardware store and you fill up your freight cart with all this new shiny stuff, all these colourful tools, bring it home and make something. It's like arts and crafts for grown-ups, except you don't hang it on the wall afterwards, it is your wall. Inevitably, each new project demands a new tool. Just when you think you have everything you could ever need you discover something necessary, or at least leagues more convenient. Buying tools begins to feel for all the world like buying a new toy. I hate to admit to such a ubiquitous stereotype but I'm starting to really like tools to the point that some might wind up on my Christmas list. It's not the tool itself, it the potential represents.Well...also the fact that the right tool typically means you're being spared a substantial amount of effort/suffering.

Even now I am still in the midst of renovations but it's nice to look back and see some progress now. My bathroom which has looked mostly unfinished for years now has a fully functioning shower and tub (the tub has been functional for years, just not the shower), the goddamn walls after what seems an eternity are mostly smooth (I hate working with plaster), the walls are painted, the vanity is finally hooked up, the flooring installed. I mean, it's pretty much complete barring superficial details such as a radiator cover, trim, and some shelving I want to install. Each day I look at another list I've drawn up and cross more and more off, even as some of my previously small projects expand a bit. After all that work it's nice to see, on paper and off, that all your time and effort is paying off.

These Thoughts of Mine

My thoughts throughout the work day:

- Someone called out sick for work today and listed their reason as "cough". I'd like to think that if someone is calling out for a "cough", especially on a day that we're already short, it's because "cough" translates to "mysterious coughing up blood disease".


- When I was in middle school I'd read books like Harry Potter and watch movies similar to Brave Story or The Goonies, stories about young heroes overcoming incredible odds. Not sure if this is unusual or not, but I'd always imagine myself in the character's position and think to myself 'If that were me I'd be dead.'


- Somewhere out there are factories making sex toys and I bet there are people who have been working there for years who haven't admitted what they do. 
"Where do you work?"
"A...toy factory."
Yet someone out there is inspecting silicon dildos for quality control or packing rubber vaginas into boxes.


- I feel pretty ingenuitive sometimes when I come up with a creative solution for a convoluted problem. I only wish I wasn't also the source of most of my convoluted problems.


- If eating healthy weren't so time-consuming I'd do it all the time. When it takes an hour and a half to make bread, 20 minutes for a 'quick' pasta lunch, and at least an hour to make a decent soup it adds up way too quick.

This is For You (But It's Not)

2/11/16 - Edited for consistency/clarity (v1.1)

I've had conflicting loyalties in my writing lately. No, maybe for a while. Now, this is just between you and me- no really, it's literally between you and me. You see I'm writing because I want you to read what I have to say. That's a fundamental nature of writing, one writes so that they may be read. The problem is I keep letting you, dear reader, get in my way. Of course, I'm also getting in my own way and I'm good at that. It's okay though, we can share the blame.

The problem, my problem, is that I keep trying to write for you. I mean, that's what I'm supposed to do. You are my audience, you are my purpose, the reason behind my writing. Writing to be read and all that. The issue is that that's not the only side, nor even the most important side. I also need to write for myself. The issue is that I keep falling into this trap, over and over again, of writing in a style that I don't care for, and skimping on the topics I do care for, all because I believe I'm writing what others want to read. I'm tailoring my writing to you, even though I don't even know what you want, what you like. Does that even make sense?

There is a middle zone I am aiming for, where I will be writing for you and myself. If I was writing solely for me that would essentially just be self-reflection or journaling. Which is fine, but it's clearly not writing for an audience, it's not writing meant for you, reader. Writing solely for an audience is catering, or perhaps just being a soulless copywriter. The fine line that I have trouble walking is writing for you about topics that I care about, and in a way that I enjoy. The thing is, having an audience is so rewarding, even just the potential for feedback of any sort has this invisible influence over what I write. So I end up writing cautiously, I doubt my opinions, I restrict my scope, when really I should shotgun-method the hell out of my writing to see what works. Writing is about connecting, and if I'm not going to try and connect genuinely what's the point?

I have a hard time writing unrestrained. Should I swear? Should I avoid swearing? Should I be consistent? Should I write articles? Should I write fiction? Should I try and divide and organize all the different categories I might try? Or should I just post inspirations as it comes to me? Should I avoid my life at large or should I include it in my writing? I can't decide, and like a singer standing nervous, center-stage, alone, I freeze up. Even when I do manage to write my voice falters.

I wonder if I should stop trying, or, not to mince words, stop caring. I don't mean that to sound defeatist, but I always seem to be at my best when I'm 'not trying'. I think that the deeper root of my aforementioned problem is that I try too hard. I wanted to do things right so I started a blog to get a little exposure, thought maybe I would write more if I had a modest audience. I've been fixated on improving my writing for the last two years and I started reading more, and made numerous attempts to write on a regular basis. I tried having a 'when it's completed' release schedule, and when I took months to get anything done I tried a weekly schedule. I've tried giving myself reading lists- a mix of classics and current interests, I've tried to stick to rules of writing, I've tried to write reviews with balanced and well-rounded coverage. I've tried to write like I was going to be published (practice like you perform). I've tried to emulate professional writers. I've tried to write in ways that might appeal to some specific communities I frequent. I tried to always write my best. I've tried way too much. I keep sticking to conventions. I keep worrying about being inconsistent. I keep worrying about quality and appeal. I don't know why I keep falling into the same traps over and over again. I don't know why I wrote 'dear reader' in the first paragraph except that I routinely, unwittingly, tailor my writing for some unknown reader. I'm not even a 'dear reader' kind of person unless I'm being ironic.

I don't want to care any more. When I stop caring I can finally concentrate, I've felt it before with other things. If I stop caring all that will be left is the writing. No rules. No worries about category. No reading lists of books I'm only half interested in. No deadlines. I can doubt myself as much as I want and just keep going, because I don't have to worry about anyone else. I know what I want to do. I don't have to worry about whether or not my writing is shitty, or mediocre, or dry, or forced. I'm never satisfied anyways.

So, you know what. I don't care anymore. Thanks for reading. I'll see you whenever I update next.

Thought Pad - Posts That May or May Not Be

Just a quick post, more for my own reference than anything else.

Prone though I may be to bouts of depression I generally try and stay positive. So when I say that many of these post ideas (that will follow) may never come to fruition it is simply because they will be replaced by better ideas or there are just too many for me to get to. Still, I'd like to make a point of recording them just in case. So, once more I will record various ideas and thoughts I have.

- How We Are Trained to Play MMO's: As far as games go there are a lot of things in MMORPG's that aren't easily definable as fun (though that seems to be improving through the years). So why put so much time into a game that isn't fun? Brushing aside that many modern games aren't necessarily meant to be "fun" per se, I believe it's because we were trained or tricked into liking them. (I thought it would be fun to view the MMORPG phenomenon through my own darkly tinted experiences, and examine why I started out mostly disliking games like WoW and Ragnarok online but played them anyways.)


- Cleaning and Entropy: This was more of an idea than a fully-formed article. The thought behind it is that the need to clean is caused by entropy so the act of cleaning is actually an act of rebellion against the forces of entropy itself. That would make cleaning a rather arrogant act and, of course, you would never find any respite from cleaning as entropy is a foe that knows no end. I like the idea but there just isn't much more to write about beyond that condensed bit.


- Borderlands is a Bad Game and I Love It: I've really enjoyed the Borderlands world, art style, and even the gameplay itself despite the fact that it suffers from some really poor design choices. The game really falls short of greatness on several fronts yet I've dumped more hours into the game on PC and PS3 than even Skyrim. "RPG first person shooter" is the sole pillar that holds the game up in a sort of Diablo II meets Serious Sam sort of way. Borderland's greatest strength is that it is unique on several fronts, core among those being the major gameplay mechanics which are old concepts presented in a new way. Despite an alluring new style of gameplay, aesthetics, and a memorable world Borderlands largely failed to live up to its potential, especially in its sequels, and the core gameplay suffers from repetition and a shallow focus on the world and characters. (This article idea is essentially just a review of the game, its strong and weak points, and with a focus on why Borderlands is a 'bad' game in a lot of ways and how it manages to pull through regardless.)


- Handsome Jack: 2-Dimensional Villain or Suprisingly Complex?: Handsome Jack, to me, is a confusing character. It's hard to for me to imagine someone like him actually existing, and not just because Handsome Jack is laughably evil and self-absorbed. As a character Jack seems to be all over the place in personality. The easiest side to identify is also the most flat; Jack as megalomaniacal dictator of Pandora is annoyingly one-sided. The bottom line? If you think that Jack is going to have a redeeming quality or is going to stop being an evil-dick for a moment, he's not. Borderlands 2 and Tales from the Borderlands have many 'gotchas' in that regard. Yet beneath the shallow exterior Handsome Jack has the potential for incredible depth. Brief moments here and there suggest that Handsome Jack actually sabotages his own sympathetic traits by being the universe's biggest asshole. It's as if Jack truly wanted to be liked but didn't believe himself deserving, nor capable of redemption. Furthermore we know that despite his hellacious methods Jack had some noble goals for Pandora. So evidence suggests that Jack was pursuing noble goals with terrible methods, he has a human side that he is trying to cover up, and that despite those things, deep down inside, he is probably also still just a dick by nature. It's hard to tell if Handsome Jack is a poorly written character with accidental depth or a well-written character with hidden depth, but in either case I find him a hard character to read. (This prompted me to want to examine him as a character in the two games I know him from. Unfortunately I don't have Borderlands the Pre-Sequel for reference which could potentially poke holes in some of my theories.)

 

Writing Doldrums

It's been another year and once again I find myself wondering if my writing has improved at all. I certainly feel more comfortable with my writing, though I'm not sure if that has made my writing better. Does it show? I've been experimenting by writing about different things but nothing feels quite right yet. My Things I Hate series is fun, or at least satisfying, though I'm not sure it exactly counts as comedy (my original intention). At least a few people have expressed that they would rather see me working on fiction. Perhaps I should, but I always feel particularly frustrated with how my fiction turns out.

I've tried writing about anime a little bit, but it turns out that I'm particularly ranty when it comes to anime, though probably not in the fun way. More in the long-winded stop-writing-already way. I recently completed an as-yet-unpublished article on anime golden ages but my initial write-up ended up halfway between a poor research paper and overstuffed argumentative essay. The writing advice I've gotten on the article/post has been divisive; pare it down, bulk it up. Either way it's likely to require a lot of rewriting before I can call it complete. (Also, I'm starting to think that pursuing an English or Journalism degree might be worth it, even if the degree is wholly unmarketable, solely so I don't have to beg people for constructive criticism.)

As usual I also feel that I don't write enough. Also, as usual, I have too much on my plate to write as often as I'd like. I have my hands full with trying to finish the remaining renovations on the house so that I can sell it. Not to mention I also need to work on my Network+ certification this year before my A+ certification runs out. Regardless, I'd find it easier to write more often if I could find my niche, but nothing has stuck so far. Back in high school I felt driven to write. Now? I have fun with some posts/articles but these days it's really hit or miss. I wonder sometimes if I spend too much time thinking about what people actually want to read, if my writing would improve more if I just didn't give a shit about whether or not anyone wanted to read my stuff and focused on making sure I was happy with my writing. At some point though I do need to worry about whether or not people want to read my stuff. Or at least learn how to connect with the people who want to read my particular brand of writing.

Gatchaman CROWDS - Disaster Zone

Until just recently I hadn't watched any anime in a long while, almost six months. If you asked me why I'd be hard pressed to give an exact answer. The closest I can come to an explanation is that I ran out of A-list series to check out. My anime A-list is exactly what it sounds like, anime that I've had trusted recommendations for or that I feel are must-see. I'm a little annoyed that the list ran out. Particularly I'm annoyed because I don't exactly blaze through anime and it's not uncommon for me to go several months between series, which tells me that I have not only caught up on anything that really stands out as worthwhile (including a backlog of older shows) but that nothing new is coming out to replenish my list. Of course this is all subject to my own taste in shows and a lot of other subjective things, yadda, yadda, yadda.

My point being, I've been forced to draw from my B-list a lot lately. It's a good and bad thing. I'm sorry to say that much of my B-list has exactly what makes my B-list a B-list: mediocrity, great ideas ruined by poor execution, thick veneers of cliche slathered over otherwise decent characters, and series that are bearably bad or finger-quotes good. Occasionally I'm pleasantly surprised and that keeps me going.  But going through my B-list I find the highs and lows very underwhelming and after a few B-list series   it's all too easy to forget just how moving or cerebral a good anime can be. This is where I've been for a while now, and where Gatchaman comes in.

Although the animation style didn't call out to me I had read a growing number of favorable reviews for Gatchaman CROWDS and its sequel. Finally earlier this week, after finishing off another mediocre B-list I decided I was ready for something that had a little rapport and watched Gatchaman CROWDS.

Overview - Gatchaman CROWDS Reaches for Everything But Grasps Nothing.

I went into Gatchaman CROWDS with moderately high expectations ready to like the series, but quickly realized about halfway in that Gatchaman was dying a death of a thousand cuts. For every step forward Gatchaman took in pulling me in there was something else breaking immersion or failing to make sense. In the first two episodes Hajime and MESS are introduced, with MESS being implied to be a long-running enemy of the Gatchaman, only for Hajime to completely resolve the entire mess (pun intended) in the second episode. Fine, whatever, the show doesn't want to be about good guys fighting throwaway bad guys, that's okay. Though since MESS doesn't play any other role in the story after the first two episodes what was the point in even establishing MESS? Where is the show going then? Well that's where Rui (or as I call him: "guy/girl", since I can never seem to remember his name) and 'X' come in with their super app GALAX. Once again I was ready to overlook a few flaws in GALAX for the sake of the greater story, but given how large a role GALAX plays in the latter half of the story those small gripes became gaping holes that shattered my suspension of disbelief.

And then he left for no raisin at all! Hahahaha!

Now, allow me a little aside here. Maybe it's just because I have a background in computers making me a little more aware of trends in apps and whatnot but I just can't see GALAX being as successful as it was portrayed. The idea behind GALAX is pretty cool, you connect people who need medical attention to nearby first responders, people who need help to those who have the skills to assist, as well as serving a traditional role as general chat room and platform for shared interests. There are just two big issues with that. Number one is the first responder issue, which in theory is really great, but then you have situations like the stabbing (perpetrated by Katze) in which GALAX would actually be putting medical first responders in danger in a situation that would require police intervention first. Number two is that long term success of GALAX as a platform for connecting people with problems (like the housewife and the lawyer using an in-show example) would be dependent on pay. Contacting a lawyer in the vicinity is great, if they are going to help for free, but at the same time that lawyer is essentially working without pay. Of course, maybe the lawyer is getting paid since the show never specifies, in which case that feature of GALAX is essentially just a fancy Google search. Without a paid system GALAX could still be successful but it would then ultimately be forced to cater to entry-level assistance as professional help would almost certainly require payment. People gotta' make a living yo.

Getting back to the story overall, Gatchaman tried to juggle a lot of ideas: the internet as a tool for greater civic action/responsibility, the role of leadership in the internet age, organization in government vs online, approaching problems with empathy, and I'm sure there was more. The end result is that the series feels frenetic and cluttered, and doesn't seem like it's actually about anything. Even the transformation abilities of the Gatchaman somehow felt out of place after a while. I thought maybe the story was going to be about the Gatchamen slowly becoming irrelevant but that didn't pan out. Then I thought maybe the show was going to examine the Gatchamen as a force for executive action, competing for dominance with CROWDS, while an inept government tied down by bureaucracy was forced to change. Nope. Maybe it was due to the increasing absurdity and lack of realism in a setting that is supposed to be the real world albeit with fantasy elements, but I had an extremely difficult time concentrating on what Gatchaman CROWDS was trying to convey.

Gatchaman Aesthetics and 70's Chic.

Setting aside my ranty complaints for a moment let's look at one of the few things I actually didn't mind about the show (even if I still find it weird). Gatchaman has a very strange visual aesthetic that seems to be infused with 70's influences. I'm not sure if this is a hat-tip to when the original Gatchaman (Science Ninja Team Gatchaman) came out in 1972, but all the aliens seem to dress like 70's chic is where it's at. OD and Sugane both wear those loose shirts with the off-kilter neck and Sugane in particular is prone to stripes. Not to mention both have that pixie haircut thing going on. I couldn't place it at first but Hajime's outfit also seemed vaguely 70's but I couldn't place why. After running a few image searches I'm fairly certain now that the high waist on her skirt is the culprit. Strangely enough the Gatchaman theme is another 70's throwback with the repeated "Gatchaman!!" chorus that plays during the action scenes. Don't ask me why I'm picking up on so many 70's things, I wasn't even born back then.

The overall animation is pretty good even if the character designs don't do anything special for me. The animation is smooth and, well, animated. The color palette seems to be infused with a lot of bold or neon colours where the Gatchaman are concerned though everything else looks pretty normal, which really helps set the Gatchaman apart as alien and fantastical. I'm not very fond of the use of cell-shaded graphics in the series though. Once again cell-shading is a jarring and noticeable shift and I disapprove of it. There seems to be some issue with translating a smooth CG animation into the lower frame rate of animated cells without the CG looking terribly choppy or awkwardly fluid.

OD is Best Character. The Rest Are Pretty Terrible.

As far as protagonists go Hajime barely registers as a character as she is too busy being a plot device. She doesn't develop, she doesn't have any depth, and somehow she always knows how to diffuse a situation. There were several great opportunities to hint that perhaps Hajime's ceaseless exuberance is just a front instead of a happiness bordering on mental illness. Of course those opportunities were passed over without incident. J.J. is another non-character who only appears to bestow powers, dispense prophecies, and blow paper birds around. Paiman is insufferably annoying and although he does undergo a small amount of character growth he never matures enough to actually be an enjoyable character. Mostly he acts as a terrible bossy leader who is largely useless. Sugane, Utsutsu, and Joe could be much more interesting characters but they spend most of the show mostly doing their own thing or following Hajime's lead. 

One wonders how the Gatchaman got along before Hajime came along, but I'd chalk that up to OD. OD is one of the few decent characters, though he doesn't undergo much growth either. Nonetheless he is still my favorite. I like his casual style, the way he is completely and comfortably himself, his self-assured nature, and the hint of mysteriousness that accompanies his character. He obviously cares for the Gatchaman as a team, and more so for the Gatchaman as individuals. I can't say as much for most of the others besides Hajime and she doesn't count. That OD is also the most powerful is just an added bonus for me. Although on that point I'm a little confused as to why OD was so reluctant to use his Gatchaman power, because despite some collateral damage from his light tentacles I wouldn't exactly call that city destroying. Also I admit that I was rather confused when I saw OD's weapons breach the ground as I had always assumed that JJ's sanctum was extra-dimensional or on another planet and not simply underground.

My last gripe where characters are concerned falls on Berg-Katze. I actually really liked Katze as a villain. He has this "I want to watch the world burn" style, but it's very clear that he doesn't actually want to get his hands dirty. Katze is subversive and manipulative, and wherever possible Katze doesn't like to actually kill people himself; to him it is almost necessary that the blood is on someone else's hands. Toward the end of the series when Katze emerges from JJ's lair to find everyone distracted instead of in chaos it would have been all too easy for him to wade into the crowds and start cutting people apart. After all that would sow plenty of chaos, but Katze's game is to fan the flames of darkness in others lives. Katze isn't just after chaos, he is after the destruction of the human spirit by guiding his victims into creating their own downfall. Aaaaand then Hajime completely de-tooths his character by essentially saying "Awww, he was just lonely all this time!" I honestly hope that isn't true because I feel that severely diminishes Katze as a villain. Not to mention that being lonely is not a valid excuse for destroying entire planets in a sadistic and brutal manner.

As for Rui, Rui is an okay character but there was something about him that I didn't particularly care for. At least Rui undergoes some actual growth, but his misguided idealism and his complete lack of background bothered me.

Let's Examine Leadership Themes by Completely Disregarding a Realistic Portrayal of Leadership.

My biggest complaint about Gatchaman CROWDS is that it has no idea how to correctly represent leadership. Honestly, they have no freaking clue or they just plain don't care. The Gatchaman themselves don't really have a strong sense of leadership, which seems to be by design. Paiman is a poor leader who is bossy and afraid to make decisions, JJ doesn't actually say anything beyond his prophecies, and the other Gatchaman members don't really have an organized system down. That all makes sense.

What doesn't make sense to me is neglecting to have the Mayor and the Fire Marshall play a central role in organizing aid during the emergency at the end of the series. What doesn't make sense to me is a Prime Minister so inept that there is no plausible explanation as to how he got his position in the first place. Maybe my perspective is too coloured by American politics but in my experience someone in a role requiring major responsibility and civic duty knows to project confidence and speak deliberately. Public speaking is an inextricable part of public leadership for most high level positions, so that entire scene with the Prime Minister mumbling in front of a camera for 5 minutes is the effectively Gatchaman tapping reality on the shoulder and saying "Hey realism...SUPLEX!" The Prime Minister in Gatchaman spends several episodes literally moping around. After multiple capital buildings are destroyed the PM makes no televised, streaming, or radio address to Japan until the Gatchamen practically force him to. The mayor, likewise, isn't shown to address the city during or after the attacks on the capital buildings. Where is the organization, where is the communication, where is the, er, leadership? At one point the mayor literally laughs as he rides into the distance on a bicycle during the climax. There are certain qualities that accompany people in positions of power that are essentially required to be able to perform well in an important and public position. You can't wind up in a position of power like that without the ability to at least fake competence. Then again, leadership seems to be a weak point for Gatchaman CROWDS in particular, because there is no strong sense of leadership within any of the groups portrayed in the series. Is that their point maybe? Something something non-central leadership structure? I have no idea, the show is so diffuse with its ideas.

While we're on the subject of non-central leadership, however, let's touch on GALAX. GALAX was used to organize the CROWDS/terrorist forces once Katze took control of 'X'. Once again, the CROWDS users didn't seem to have any sort of actual leadership, which became apparent after the enthusiasm of the initial attacks died down. CROWDS user #23 (I only know his number thanks to Bobduh), the father who moonlighted as a political terrorist, tried to motivate the directionless mob of CROWDS users several weeks (or days?) later to no avail. Honestly this is another section I find confusing. If GALAX allows people to connect to each other, wouldn't it have been relatively easy for #23 to find and connect to other political extremists? Even assuming that Rui blocked #23 from using GALAX completely and not just using CROWDS, when Katze reinvites the previously vetoed individuals, some 24,000 of them if I recall correctly, was there not even a small cadre of like-minded individuals willing to band together? Online a website or app usually manages the organizational systems, so really the only work required of someone who wanted to organize CROWDS attacks would have been to create an incentive. I'd also like to point out that even after the worst is over there doesn't seem to be any concern over finding the individuals who conspired to destroy multiple government buildings, though that could haved just been ignored in the interst of time. Still, not even a passing mention. Regardless, there was obviously still some sort of leadership present within the CROWDS user-base, as is demonstrated when the PM's caravan is attacked by several waves of the CROWDS avatars.

Actually, the PM being attacked while under escort brings me to one final leadership complaint. Whilst CROWDS is attacking the caravan the prime minister, if I recall correctly, shouts something along the lines of "this isn't the time to be worrying about protocol!'. What!? That is precisely the time to be worrying about protocol! Protocol exists to give you a precedent, a series of steps to follow so that even when things break down and go to hell you still have a course of action to follow independent of your own panic and potential lack of communication. A leader exists to determine when it is proper to break from protocol to achieve desired results, which is sometimes necessary especially in times of chaos. Before that point, however, protocol exists to guide actions in the absence of active leadership. Honestly I'm just not sure what to say on this anymore.

The infamous bike riding scene.

A Happy-Go-Lucky State of Emergency Tale.

I tried to stick with Gatchaman CROWDS for a while. I felt that if it could pull just a few things together I could overlook a lot of its flaws, but instead the show came completely unglued with a loud and prolonged flop, like a lasagna slowly falling out of its dish.

During the climax Gatchaman drops all pretense of realism. Even after CROWDS has become a huge problem the towers handling cell-phone communications are never shut down. The building housing X or (and maybe this is a bit presumptuous of me) a server room is never stormed in an attempt to isolate or bring down the GALAX network; traditional cell phone and SMS functions should have still worked, unless I misunderstood GALAX's scope. While we're on the matter of communications, and I admit this is nit-picky, but during the height of the emergency when everyone was trying out their new CROWDS ability, I highly doubt that the mobile network could have performed without issue. In fact it is quite a common occurrence in real life for cell phone networks to perform sluggishly or fail to connect during or immediately after major disasters.

The entire emergency event is where the series really could have benefited from a greater sense of realism in order to emphasize the gravity of the situation and contrast the fantastical power of the Gatchamen. Instead the show breaks down into this surreal almost 'merry adventure' state in the midst of what should be a justifiably terrifying experience. Let's begin from the scene where the PM is attacked while with his JSDF escort. The Gatchamen show up out of nowhere, which to be fair is standard fare for a super-hero series, so Gatchaman gets a free pass on that one. However Gatchaman CROWDS wastes no time in setting that free pass on fire and warming its hands on it and the glowing embers of realism. Apparently sometime between moping around and showing up to save the PM the Gatchamen figured out a way to stun users out of the CROWDS ability without putting them in a coma. An awfully convenient development considering that there wasn't any foreshadowing or discussion about such a discovery earlier. I rather think the story would have been much more interesting if the Gatchamen were forced to contend with the coma issue without an apparent solution. Also in the same scene was an event that seemed innocuous enough at the time but later began to grate on me. Hajime decides that the Gatchamen should reveal themselves so she does the 'Amnesia Remind' thing so everyone can see them, which also means everyone can see the CROWDS. I didn't think anything of it at the time...until several episodes later I suddenly began to wonder to myself why everyone throughout the city could see the CROWDS. Wait, I thought, just what is the range on 'Amnesia Remind'? Is it city-wide? How long does it last? Are the Gatchamen using the ability off screen throughout the entire event? Could people not actually see many of the CROWDS until they started using the CROWDS ability as well? Did the CROWDS remain permanently visible after the major conflict? Such a small detail but whether intentional or not it raises a lot of questions such as how things might have turned out different had the CROWDS remained invisible.

Later in the story, in the midst of the central conflict I just gave up trying to be invested. The disaster and defense teams seem to be completely useless without the help of the GALAX system, despite the fact that low-tech solutions have often been remarkably effective in emergencies. Then again that's in the real world which doesn't seem to have much bearing in Gatchaman, which completely negates how amazing GALAX is supposed to be. OZ in Summer Wars was impressive and effective because it demonstrated the reach and power of such a system in the context of the real world. Without the real world as context the effectiveness of GALAX feels forced and unnatural. People unnaturally flock to the CROWDS games in Gatchaman and compete for points during the attacks as if that somehow negates the severity of the situation. Think about it, hundreds of individuals competing to reunite families, provide food, and assist in various other ways for personal gain, although said personal gain is merely virtual credit and some measure of recognition. I can easily see more harm than good coming from such a situation. Not to mention I don't see the need for GALAX to motivate people as shared strife is a powerful motivator for cooperation and selflessness. Then there is the matter of how dangerous the CROWDS are in general. There has to be hundreds of thousands, if not millions in collateral damage from the CROWDS by the end of the series. We witness the CROWDS bodies flipping cars and, through combined effort, destroying government buildings and the avatars are easily four times the size of an average person. The damage these CROWDS things could do to a person, and completely on accident mind you, is catastrophic. Throw into the mix that they may or may not be invisible and the likelihood of such an incident sky-rockets. (I rewatched some of the final episodes in the hopes of clarifying the invisibility matter but the scenes I saw only left me more confused. Several background texts say things like "and they're invisible....scary!" yet several other scenes clearly suggest that the CROWDS are visible, such as a news footage of a CROWDS covered building with no apparent damage, and people scattering out of the way of wrestling CROWDS. Wtf!?) My point being, there is no consistency, there is no sense of danger, and jumping back to a previous paragraph- the characters aren't developed enough for their 'moments' to have any real impact. I'm so confused as to how such a well-animated series could get so bad.

 In the end I'm very disappointed. Nonetheless I'll probably still watch INSIGHT just to see if Gatchaman is consistent about being bad, and because I'm wondering more than ever what garnered this series such good reviews. Let me know your own thoughts in the comments.