Man I'm terrible about consistently updating. Not that that's really the point of this particular blog, but still, I like writing and it's sad to see that It's been like 3 weeks since I last wrote anything. This blog is supposed to be my "whatever, whenever" platform so that I don't feel overly pressured about writing, which works out great but it also means I don't feel particularly rushed to update. That's still better than feeling obligated to update and stressing myself out over it though.
And speaking of stress, I feel like relieving a little by beating up on one of the internet's easiest and sleaziest of targets: Hook-grab Cash-in Ads. Taboola, you're my favorite punching bag.
1. There Are 7 Types of English Last Names - Which One Is Yours?
Ah, Ancestry.com, we meet again. It seems the draw this time is to find out a little more about your last name, specifically what 'type' of last name. Honestly I'm already a little confused. How can you have a different type of last name? Like, is it the origin of the name? Or is it different formats? I'm getting a strong 'misuse of vocabulary' vibe from the title. Also the picture strongly implies that whatever is featured in the article stems back to the middle ages. There is just one problem with this. I know from my Dad's own genealogy research that names, even last names have a tendency to slowly warp and change over time. In my very own family tree I can see how the family name was modified bit by bit so that, by the time I reach the top of the family tree (as far as we have discovered) our last name was vastly different. So, aside from the obvious bait to get you interested in your genealogy so that you start thinking that "Hey, maybe I should get an Ancestry.com membership!", the article, by nature, will only be able to give you vague suggestions about where your last name actually came from. And that's assuming that you are correct in assuming your English heritage.
2. 88 Year Old Yoga Teacher Shares Her Secret to Never Ending Energy
Oho, Athletic Greens, wants to show us how to access unlimited energy! They will show us how to eat veggies, swallow supplements, and do Yoga! Yay! Okay, first off, this article is already making an unspoken promise. It's saying, "Look at this 88 year old Yoga teacher in this picture. You can look great at 88 and tap into boundless energy now!" (Note that there is no guarantee that the picture featured actually is the yoga teacher in question.) Of course this isn't a complete scam, there are things that can be done that are likely to increase your energy and most of them are pretty easy. Athletic Greens could even deliver on those fronts but I guarantee it would be for a price, a clearly visible and tempting price that would be right next to an article about a Yoga teacher who looks and feels great and wants to spread the message that "You can feel this way too". Here's my grain of salt though, if you're over the age of 20 life is going to be tiring, at least in some way. In a lot of ways the mere existence of this ad is a slap in the face to how difficult it actually is to have energy as a working adult, as many things are beyond your control. In order to have never-ending energy you need to combine as many of the following things as possible: eat well, drink plenty of water, get plenty of uninterrupted sleep, socialize with close friends and/or family on a semi-regular basis, exercise (very important for energy), don't drink too much caffeine, work a job you can enjoy or are at least proud of, make time for something creative or involving in your life (something relaxing; a hobby basically), and make sure that you have enough money to live comfortably with at least a modest savings** (extremely important for all but the most money-averse.) I'd find the article and spoil what the actual secret is but then I'd feel dirty for actually being drawn to the site. So let's just say the real secret is that there is no secret.
3. (July 2014) New "Rule" Has Drivers Furious & Shocked...
I hate these ads in particular. Also, if you noticed the date you can see how long I've been collecting these stupid ads now. Funny story, I first started saving pictures of the ads because I felt less inclined to click their dirty links when I did. I actually have a folder of about 50 or so ad blocks like the one above. Anyways, getting back to the picture, the particular brand of absurdity in these ads drives me nuts. Nothing has been happening that is making drivers "Furious and Shocked" except for freak accidents like a chunks of exploded whale meat landing on cars. Also, why is "rule" in quotes? Is it not actually a rule? Is it a law? A guideline? Another BS policy that an insurance company came up with? And the most absurd part is that the antique car in the picture is circled like it actually has something to do with the article. That particular car. Apparently the classic car ahead of it is unaffected by what Insurance.Comparisons.org wants to tell us about. I'm not interested though, and not just for the obvious reasons. This type of ad is, apparently, effective because I still see shit like this almost a year and a half later. Guess I was fine not knowing about this outrageous "rule". (Unrelated, but did you know that in some areas that antique and classic cars with historical/antique plates can only be driven for specific reasons? It's why you don't see many on the road on a regular basis.)
4. 20 Disney Starlets Then & Now [PHOTOS!]
This is already a bad sign: Perez Hilton is the name of the site? Something reeks of minimal effort and the lowest common denominator. For one the premise is Disney starlets and photos. I'm not sure whether the article is intended to be an actual showcase of then and now or a chance to parade about pictures of disgraced child stars. Given that Disney has a reputation for corrupting childhood stars with early fame I'm inclined to say the latter. A narrow sliver of another image can be seen in the picture above, suggesting that had we followed the link we'd see a number of child stars (starlets, so...I'm gonna assume all girls) next to highly sexualized young women. Not really sure what to do with this one, so I'll try and summarize my thoughts as succinctly as possible. The link and the article are both perpetuating the continued exploitation of an actor that began as a child. Those child stars are (I'm assuming) all adults now though and it's their choice if they want to be overtly sexual or public about their lives. However comparing pictures of naïve young disneyfied teens next to their adult selves implies a sort of corruption even though it's a very natural progression. Although, admittedly it's a different thing if they got into drugs, were complete ego-centric assholes to everyone around themselves, and their life fell into a spiral of defeat, but regardless my first point still stands (that exploitation put them there).
5. 5 Ingredients 1 Delicious Meal
Seems straightforward enough. I only have to ask, why choose this site? There are tons of recipe sites all over the internet from allrecipes.com to Pinterest. (Not to mention an endless ocean of food blogs.) Also, I'm gonna take a wack at the recipe shown above cause why not. Someone let me know how it turns out.
Ingredients
1 - 3lbs. of any type of steak
1 can of corn
1 can diced tomatoes (3 if using those tiny cans)
1 can of kidney beans
1 large can of Hunt's tomato sauce
-Cook steak in pan over medium heat with a little oil.
-In separate pot begin to boil can of tomato sauce and one can's worth of water.
-Once pot is boiling reduce to simmer (Med - High).
-Add cans of corn, kidney beans and diced tomatoes. Cook 10 minutes.
-Add meat and simmer for 1 minute more.
-Serve in large bowls. I'm guessing it could serve 1-4 people depending on how hungry they are. Add whatever spices you think would be good. I suggest basil, oregano, or a southwest spice mix.
6. The Secret to the Best Vanilla Ice Cream
This was in the last one so you could always just read that one. Or you can read the condensed version here:
The Secret: Run to the store and pick up a pint of Ben & Jerry's or Coldstone's vanilla ice cream.
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