So occasionally I like to toss around a bit of dark and/or cynical humour. It usually disappears from my head before I ever get a chance to write it down, especially since I try to keep my cynicism to a minimum while at work, so I wanted to share these small gems before I forget them completely.
From a Hangouts conversation yesterday (about paint colours):
Meanwhile, yesterday I also helped a co-worker move some furniture around the building. While moving backwards down the hallway with a bed we had the following conversation:
Coworker: Is there anything behind me?
Me: (Craning neck) Just a past full of choices you didn't make and regrets.
Coworker: Wait, what?
Me: No, all clear. No one's behind you.
Coworker: Oh, I thought I heard you say something else.
Me: Nope, just that.
Coworker: Huh.
I had another decent one but it pertains specifically to Final Fantasy XIV so I'll refrain for now. It's a very niche joke. Most of my actual jokes are lame. Or puns. Or lame puns. And some are just too subtle for people to pick up on right away, what can I say I have a dry sense of humour. Well, okay, if you insist, I'll tell one of my dryer FFXIV jokes (let me pretend damn you).
A member of my wife's Free Company was talking about how they were leveling a new character. The conversation went a something like this:
FC Mate: Yeah I've been leveling a ninja lately for fun
Me: Oh yeah?
Me: I don't believe you
FC Mate: Why?
Me: Because I never see any ninja's leveling
FC Mate: Well I don't get on my ninja very often but...
Obviously the joke went way over that person's head and I don't blame them, but I found it amusing. If you're having a hard time spotting the joke it's probably because you are thinking on it too hard. Also it's not laugh out loud funny, I just find it amusing. As I said, dry and subtle. Now go on, shoo. You probably have something better to be doing.
From a Hangouts conversation yesterday (about paint colours):
Meanwhile, yesterday I also helped a co-worker move some furniture around the building. While moving backwards down the hallway with a bed we had the following conversation:
Coworker: Is there anything behind me?
Me: (Craning neck) Just a past full of choices you didn't make and regrets.
Coworker: Wait, what?
Me: No, all clear. No one's behind you.
Coworker: Oh, I thought I heard you say something else.
Me: Nope, just that.
Coworker: Huh.
I had another decent one but it pertains specifically to Final Fantasy XIV so I'll refrain for now. It's a very niche joke. Most of my actual jokes are lame. Or puns. Or lame puns. And some are just too subtle for people to pick up on right away, what can I say I have a dry sense of humour. Well, okay, if you insist, I'll tell one of my dryer FFXIV jokes (let me pretend damn you).
A member of my wife's Free Company was talking about how they were leveling a new character. The conversation went a something like this:
FC Mate: Yeah I've been leveling a ninja lately for fun
Me: Oh yeah?
Me: I don't believe you
FC Mate: Why?
Me: Because I never see any ninja's leveling
FC Mate: Well I don't get on my ninja very often but...
Obviously the joke went way over that person's head and I don't blame them, but I found it amusing. If you're having a hard time spotting the joke it's probably because you are thinking on it too hard. Also it's not laugh out loud funny, I just find it amusing. As I said, dry and subtle. Now go on, shoo. You probably have something better to be doing.
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